This happened a couple nights ago. Normal people don’t bear witness to this kind of stuff. I should have taken a picture, because this kind of weird stuff, that has become commonplace in my life, just isn’t believable.

So I am driving along expecting nothing stranger than a few bad drivers. A beat up truck in-front of me. Its got tarps hanging over the edges of the truck-bed. Nothing out of the ordinary for this area.

They are going incredibly slow. Probably drunk and overcompensating to avoid a ticket. I’ve got nothing better to do, so I pull up real close and lay on the horn. They actually speed up. This is a bit unexpected of a reaction, but well within the range of normal. I mean, thus far, its a normal night.

Then I see water come splashing over the tail gate. Lots of it. I think to myself, okay the insomnia of late is making me see things. Then it happens again. No denying it at this point, those rednecks are transporting a large amount of water using their truck and some tarps. Really…WorkTimeFun?

We have stepped outside the realm of normal and into my life. At least it wasn’t a heard of goats this time. I wonder whatever happened to that heard of goats?

I really thought it was over at this point. I was stupid and really thought the weirdness of this situation had already peaked. Then we sat at a stoplight.

At this point everything is still easy to grasp. Just some rednecks doing their thing. Good o’l ducktape and love America.

Keep in mind its a long red light and the water in the truck has surely calmed by now. No reason for any splashing. No reason for me to see any water come flying over that tailgate, until the light turns green anyway.

God can’t leave it at that. A gigantic splash of water goes straight up from the center of the truck bed. Now I should explain that this truck is a bit jacked up and so I can’t see into the truckbed. Something starts thrashing around in the water and its splashing all over the place.

I do not know what they were transporting. It was something that needs water. Maybe they had turned their truckbed into some sort of livewell for the days catch. Maybe they had filled their truckbed with fish to stalk a pond on their property (cause hey why not, beats paying some company that know WHAT THE F*** THEY ARE DOING TO PROFESSIONALLY DELIVER THE FISH TO YOUR GODD***ED POND YOU F***ING…). Maybe they had a d***ed alligator. I don’t f’n know.

Anyway, a few unecessary turns and this weird little moment, this little mindf***, God had vomitted onto my lap WAS over. WAS. I can’t get it out of my head. I already have been experiencing a touch of insomnia these past few days. NOW I CAN’t FIGURE OUT EXACTLY WHAT THE F*** THEY WERE F***ING DOING! Thank you God…thanks.

Advertisements